Welcome back to our skies, even as you have elected to spend more time on other shores than ours. I am sure that you have taken note of the drastic deficit in enthusiasm to welcome you from your numerous trips abroad. If you have not, be informed that the situation is so bad that sycophant elite from your South Region and other lazybones have had to rise up to the occasion and be drafted in to cajole public attention that people are still interested in your going out and coming in.
Mr. President, we are really worried about your eternal love for puerile indulgence in the luxury of rooms in European and American hotels. This does not only impinge on our lean purse that has been attracting the peering eyes of Bretton Woods institutions, but more disparagingly, you seem not to be making any distinction between private and official visits. While admitting that representing our country at international diplomatic arenas had since graduated into contemporary statecraft requiring every sovereign nation to have representations in as many countries as possible, and why not international organizations, such emissaries, including you, not surprisingly, represent your interests instead of Cameroon’s. Mr. President, our concern here is the seeming lack of direct involvement you have brought to bear on Governance in Cameroon via your one too many foreign escapades.
Which is why, you, as the number one of everything Cameroonian; from Head of state to Head of lives, you appoint ambassadors to countries you deem friendly enough to perpetrate your visceral inclination to power even when prevailing circumstances, indubitably, indicate disavowal by the citizenry? This ordinarily offensive disposition has, unfortunately, been heightened by a peculiar feature in your statesmanship that impels almost permanent incursions into the jurisdiction of diplomatic appointees. This way, you do not only render them uncomfortable, but make governance back at home pernicious and invariably, unproductive. Just imagine your last over 35-day stay in America and Switzerland! Imagine the heebie-jeebies that must have gripped Cameroon’s Ambassador to Switzerland, from being in the knowledge that you, with all your dictatorial proclivities had been in Hotel Continental breathing down his neck daily. That could have been next to hell.
Even more, important decisions that require presidential fiats are being ceaselessly directed to other quarters in the knowledge that you are perpetually not available. What is even more derisive in your demeanor is not just the fact that you spend much time abroad, but that such marathon sojourns have hardly borne useful fruits for the commonwealth. Framed in exorbitant hotel bills that your hirelings inflate to line their pockets and hired praise singers at home and abroad, your foreign trips constitute inexcusable drain on Cameroon’s economy whose insolvency is causing sleepless nights to financial experts locally and internationally. Since the centerpiece of your diplomacy is to be seen and heard even when what you say has nothing to inspire in relation to contemporary world power play, you carry your delirious self about oblivious of your frail physique barely supporting your 84 years.
In the event, it had to take the planned stop-over of the UN Secretary General on Cameroonian soil to chase you out of Switzerland. This puerile affinity for the ephemeral instead of awe-inspiring accomplishments like the Bakassi “Green Tree Accord,” unequivocally lends credence to hues from badmouths associating you with occult practices that immunize against concern for humanity. To this effect, while you were on the podium addressing a visibly empty auditorium at the United Nations Plaza in New York, Anglophone Cameroonians in the most spontaneous, simultaneous and intensified display of discomfiture over a system that had raised bestiality to sainthood, exposed your anachronistic, nay, sadistic statecraft to the world via peaceful protests back at home last September 22. As peaceful as the demonstrators had endeavoured to carry out their enterprise, regime toadies with atrophied notions of peace keeping still snuffed lives out of many. As counterpoise and in retaliation against what they had seen as betrayal of their long guarded secret employed to extort security budgets from state coffers, your apologists pounced on the opportunity to steal from, kill maim and rape with glee on October 1. On a Sunday for that matter! Yes, the September 22 riots had exposed unscrupulous administrators to you and the world that agitations from Anglophones have not been a matter of a few misguided elements. They are emanations from pent-up frustrations.
For 35 days you enjoyed the comfort of hotels in foreign lands while your country was boiling and heading for Armageddon. Yes, after the despicable carnage of October 1, massive arrests, looting, maiming, and unwarranted public provocations have been the lot of Anglophone Cameroonians. To this moment, many inhabitants particularly the youths of many towns in Anglophone Cameroon still endure the pangs of life in virgin forests occasioned by fear of being victims of programmed arrests and slaughter. Indeed, no fewer than 1000 youths are in detention in various parts of the Northwest and Southwest Regions. Apart from the atrocious conditions of detention, magistrates, both civilian and military have struck a gold mine in detainees from whom they extort money ranging from FCFA 25,000 to one million. Indeed, the issue of irregular detention has become favourite pastime for law enforcement agents who swindle each other just so that control over victims remains within their jurisdictions. Police, like magistrates, like prosecutors are all in the fray. Yet neither you nor any of the elected or appointed political elite from the Anglophone Regions has been bold enough to deprecate such carnage as had been unleashed on their kith and kin.
However, in their moronic acquiescence to anything you incarnate, they have found themselves saddled with the ungodly task of having to carry so called goodwill messages from you, who all along, have been making derisive utterances to their persons and shown no concern for their plight. The messengers themselves had since been disavowed, consequent upon overtly displayed repudiation of the Anglophone cause. Who then had they been intending to address? As naïve as they are, they had forgotten about the African wise saying that counsels us to be nice to people along the road because we might one day be in need of their assistance. Surprisingly, Senator Pa Achidi Achu had not reminded them of his famous “scratch my back I scratch your own” political scam. These are very unpromising moments. While Musonge was preaching the indivisibility of Cameroon on the slopes of Mount Fako, Philemon Yang was telling whoever had cared to listen that you could not have been stampeded out of the comfort of Unity Palace in Yaounde to personally come to Buea and Bamenda and soothe the gaping wounds of Anglophone wretchedness. Musonge even proclaimed from his house in Buea that Southwesters are against secession! If he were to really mean what he said, his advice to you ought to be directed to a referendum that would allow the voice of the majority to prevail.
Whether you pretend not to know the truth, or not, one thing is certain and it is the fact that current occurrences in the country have exposed the depth of Anglophone despondence in a system that reserves no hope for them. The teams sent out with your so called goodwill message of peace, by their composition mandate and scornful reaction to their presence in the various localities visited are very telling of the abysmal illegitimacy that surrounds you and the remnant of what can be termed governing class in Cameroon. However, being essentially progenies of a species with integrity and humanity, we are still willing to give you benefit of doubt opportunity to redeem your erstwhile iniquities and this can only be done by sober reflection, devoid of any triumphalist posturing. It is obvious that the likes of Okalia Biali, Rene Sadi and Beti Asomo will be telling you that the situation is under control. No way! Mr. President, what they have planted is a ticking bomb that has no specified time to explode. And when this happens, there will be no Cameroon to run to because all what the current generation has worked for would have gone into ruins.
Considering the above scenario, which to all intents and purposes is very unpromising, you are hereby called upon to heed to this clarion call of convening a nation-wide meeting of all Cameroonians. This means that participation has to be as inclusive as there are interest groups. This exercise ought to have preceded the buffoonery that has just ended in the name of carrying goodwill message of peace to the various sub Divisions. Representations should be based not only on population but on it and the principle of contribution to the state budget. This way, the form of state and resource allocation based on derivation will come on board and a compromise reached on how to determine the form of state. Do not forget that the discussion ought to be between aggrieved Anglophones and a recalcitrant Government and not Anglophones and Francophones. This way we can begin envisioning the advent of a new Cameroon where fear and suspicion would have been consigned to dustbins. But before this, you must have ensured that all those responsible for the carnage of September 22 and October 1 are brought to book to face retribution. Over to you Mr. Biya!!!
By Ngoko Monyadowa